hemmolifestyle:

relahvant:

codename-lol:

yoiplait:

terms for penis you should not use in fics:

  • love stick
  • doinker
  • schlong
  • wankie
  • ding dong
  • 100% all-beef thermometer
  • bologna pony
  • stinky pickle
  • magic wand
  • divine rod
  • love muscle
  • power drill
  • captain winky
  • yogurt slinger
  • DNA rifle 

are you kidding im going to use all of these

STINKY PICKLE

yogurt slinger

whorecrux-harry:

"Don’t kid yourself" would be a great slogan for birth control pills

(Source: ruinmarks)

assume:

deair:

so one time i was at the mall and then out of nowhere this guy put his arm around me and said hey but then i got really scared and so i screamed bYE AND WHILE I SPRINTED AWAY HE RAN AFTER ME AND YELLED WAIT COME BACK AND TO THIS DAY I DONT KNOW WHY THIS HAPPENED

fuck that was me 

su-ic-id-al:

I wish there was a way to kill yourself and see how everyone who you knew reacts, and then depending on that choose whether to stay dead or not. If that were the case I’d kill myself right this second.